MORE THAN GIFTS: THE CONSISTENT LOVE OUR KIDS TRULY NEED

Dear Modern-Day Parents,

A few years ago, one of my dear friends sent me a beautiful Bonsai plant on my birthday. After it died, I got so upset that I had to buy another one. I did tell her I had killed her gift, but as if that was not enough, the replacement I purchased did not last either. If I tell you that I was diligent about taking care of that plant, I’ll be lying. 

 I am not a yard person at all, so I admire people who can keep plants alive. One of the common descriptions I heard some of my neighbors use about the previous owners of my house was that the woman was very devoted to yard work. She worked in a nursery, so she was very good at planting flowers and keeping the yard beautifully maintained. And here I am, the direct opposite of her. If there’s anything I’m good at murdering, it's plants. I’m sure the day she makes a surprise visit to the neighborhood, she will be disappointed that her flowers and grass did not come into good hands.

If my plants or grass could file complaints, I’m sure I’d have several letters or notifications flooding my door. The truth is, I’m not consistent with watering. I forget for days, sometimes weeks. Then suddenly, guilt hits. Oh no, I haven’t watered them! And what do I do? I grab a bowl, fill it with water, and pour far more than the plant could possibly need. I overcompensate. I try to make up for all the days I neglected it. But we both know how that ends. Too much water all at once can drown a plant just as easily as too little can starve it. 

It wasn’t until recently that God used this plant neglect habit of mine to open my eyes to something more profound and painfully familiar - Parenting. Sometimes, we parent the same way. Ouch!

As I reflected on it, I suddenly saw myself not as a plant owner, but as a parent. How many times throughout the year do we let the busyness of life consume us? Work deadlines, meals to cook, laundry piling up, responsibilities tugging from every direction. Our kids are there. They are present, needing connection, yet sometimes we unintentionally neglect them.  A “maybe later” that quietly becomes “not today.”  A half-listening nod while we scroll or multitask. 

But then December comes. Christmas lights go up. Shopping begins, and suddenly, something inside us whispers, “Make it up to them.” And so, we try to buy gifts. Sometimes, too many gifts. We tell ourselves, “This will show them how much I love them.” But just like my plants, too much “watering” all at once doesn’t heal what was neglected. It can be rather confusing. Sometimes, it can quietly reshape a child’s understanding of love into something it was never meant to be.

Please don’t hear what I’m not saying. Gifts are not wrong. Christmas gifts can be beautiful, thoughtful, joyful expressions of celebration. But they are not substitutes for presence… or connection… or the steady nurturing of a child’s heart. Children don’t interpret a stack of gifts the way adults do. They don’t think, “My parents were busy, but they’re trying to make up for it.” They think, “Love looks like getting things.” Or, “I only receive attention when it’s Christmas.” And unintentionally, we begin to plant seeds we never meant to sow. But Scripture reminds us:
 “Let all that you do be done in love.” — 1 Corinthians 16:1

Not seasonal love. Not compensating love. Not once-a-year love. But steady, patient, consistent love. The kind that nurtures a child slowly, daily, faithfully.

Christmas is a Season of Love, but not a Season of Replacement Love.

This isn’t a message of guilt. This is an invitation to shift how we nurture the hearts entrusted to us. Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. They don’t need 12 gifts under a tree to feel secure. What they need most is what a plant needs most: consistent care, small moments of connection, and a steady presence that whispers, “You are loved all year long.”

Imagine how deeply rooted our children’s hearts could become if what we poured into them throughout the year mattered just as much as what we wrap on December 25.

Before you begin the year 2026, pause and ask:
 In what small ways can I express love consistently throughout the year, rather than trying to pour it all out at Christmas?

An unrushed conversation.
 A gentle hug.
 A prayer whispered together.

These are some of the things that water a child’s soul.

💎 At Gems for Generations, we believe parenting is discipleship, that is not only done in grand moments, but in the steady, daily nurturing of a child’s heart.
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